My island home

Nigel can feel the breeze blowing through his hair (all over) and whilst he can smell the wafts of jasmine and almost hear the ukulele playing softy in the background. Nigel is feeling perplexed and slightly irritated and it's not just the sunburn and sand fly bites although they are annoying. It's Barry he is always hanging around. Get your own freaking tree bro'!

Large brooch $45

Nana's Medallion

Nana might not understand the spunk of today's crazy youth with their sawn off shot guns, razor edged saws, wizz fizz and peyote fueled weekends. But...she does however like doilies and bedazzling gems. The old girl does like to sparkle on the cheap! Thrifty.
Winner, winner chicken dinner! This one is for you Nanaconda.


Nana's Medallion, small brooch $30

Wheel de Beast

This Motley crue are abused underpaid performers for the well known television station B.C. They are the regular stars of 'Sale of Last Century' frequently seen pouting and shimming around product placement. People don't realise how dangerous this business of excess is...
Abraham has developed a rash from last weeks expensive lava day spa. He would rather live with his laughter lines than be loofered with pumice and frangipani petals ever again.
Tyrone's love of all things leather and stiletto has given him back complaints and a bit of chaffing. OUCH!
Little country bumpkin Timmy, didn't realise the effect his sex symbol status would have on the ladies, he feels objectified.
So in conclusion they are sick of being stereo-typed into the really, really good looking dinosaur category. Charlie, Tyrone, Abraham and little Timmy are now looking for a union that will fight for your right to party without judgement.

Wheel de beast Large brooch $45

J.J

With his rockstar good looks and streamlined physique, this Goggomobil mechanic is wanting his cake and eating it too. With his fluid dynamic it doesn't take much for this lothario to lure the ladies into his shark net.
With so many hot lady fish in the sea, he works his magic with slow dancing to Nina Simone and hot pashing action... kinda like high school. J.J.'s main aim is to get his dermal denticles rubbed and massaged.
On weekends and public holidays J.J enjoys the odd surfer or two, he likes to play 'spot the honeymooner', it's his absolute favourite. It is quite the sport and keeps him trim, although the neoprene flossing can be irritating.
"Show us your white pointers, call me back in 5...."
J.J really is the love rat of the ocean.

J.J small brooch $30

Pony Club

Ed is all horse. In fact a Mongolian stallion living in Caulfield South. Show pony doesn't even begin to cover it....Ed has been known to lace his hay with muscle building powder that he purchases from the boot of shady Shaneel's car, at the rear of Woolies (after dark and on a full moon). Ed is all about performance enhancements, which to his detriment sometimes leads him up the garden path. A real bum steer. He still hasn't seen Clarice or Snouty since that fateful night with the shaman. The other pony's in the stables just don't appreciate the botox around his eyes or his man defining cleft chin. He is silky smooth, tight and shiny, just how he likes it.


Pony Club, medium brooch $35

Join 'Jungle Lurve' mating service club. Where all creatures get to dance....

Put on your kaleidoscopic glasses of lurve, splash on the eau de cologne, Love Potion 182, blow your hair back and buckle up (or unbuckle) for the ride of your life at Jungle Lurve mating service club.
Down here at club Jungle you can expect to receive on entry, a party pack which includes: the manual "The do's,don'ts and only occasionally, if they said yes of Lurve'. This tell all book by the respectable Dr. Carmen Again, is very revealing and gets the heart pumping...throw that gym membership away for good. Also included is a keyring and a guarantee of a least three sizzling hot hot dates. A feelgood bookmark of affirmations, a pen and a heart for your sleeve. Now, repeat after me "I am a lurve beast".

Check out this talent...meet:

Name: Ling Ling
Age: 28
Sex: yes please
Nationality: chinese
Occupation: dental nurse
A bit about me: I am a vegetarian who likes it spicy. I like long weekends spent in the wilderness listing to exotic bird calls, coocoo. I also quite like the smell of tape. It's a bit out there but i am a crazy kind of bamboo loving mammal.



Name: Harriet
Age: 43
Sex: Female
Nationality: African
Occupation: writer for well known travel company
A bit about me: I am a mature woman. Full of potential and love just awaiting that right someone to bulldoze with love. I need someone with substance, the water to my wade. Please, no pansy's need apply.


Name: Charlie
Age: 36
Sex: once
Nationality: Gondwanalandinian
Occupation: Make up artist for the stars
A bit about me:I have a petite mouth but its not the size that counts its what you can do with it and trust me that one time... was amazing.
Call me, I'm not fussy.


All medium love brooches $35

Nigel

This is Nigel, he is a dentist and for privacy reasons we can not show you his face. Not only is Nigel a highly recommended dentist, he has peppermint fresh breath and nimble fingers. In his after hours private time Nigel enjoys dressing like a fighter pilot and gets his friends to call him Captain.
At work however, he is very professional and although his hygiene standards are high, his trusty assistant Ling Ling is for ever plucking stray black back hairs from inappropriate places...like filling mixtures, in between patients teeth, on the lid of the antiseptic bottles, in her sandwich and on the dental dams etc.
Ling Ling wonders whether she can approach her hirsute boss? Should she leave a suggestion in the suggestion box? Should she just drop subtle hints? Or should she flat out tell him she is going into the Meerkin weaving business and she is going to farm him???
Poor Ling Ling.


Nigel, medium brooch $35

Now landing in Italy! John Doe

Princess C and Lady J are excited to inform you that the eagle had landed that the homing pigeons have zoned in and finally delivered our special package to the John Doe Store. Although it seems they have been to Barbados and back, Clarice and Kevin are tanned and ready for their European adventures.
John Doe usually stands for the unknown, but this super store is well and truly on the map...and we have one!
So go visit and send us a post card of you, Maude and Harriet at the piazza.

John Doe
San Domenico 18, Torino, Italy.

Woooooohoooooooooooooooo! :)
Ciao Italia grazie per aver noi! xx

Where's my horse?

Dude.... Where's my horse?
After a big night out chewing Peyote and Wizz Fizz, Clarice and Snouty look perplexed. Where is my horse and why are we naked and attached to a cactus? Hmmmm. On further investigation it appears their burnt feet are a product of getting freaky with the shaman and walking on the hot coal beds. Ed the horse nicked off quite early in the night when Snouty mistook him for Spam and went after him with his spork. Smart one that Ed.
If you have any information on Ed or exactly what happened that night, or if you were indeed actually there, please let us know in the comment section below.
Crimestoppers thanks you.
Your scheduled program will now resume.

Where's my horse? $45

Introducing.....

Princess C and Lady J are so excited to be introducing our beastly friends to foreign and far away shores.
Woooooooohoooooooooooooooooooo!
The lovely lovely Mieke of Belgium, has put her hand up to be the guardian, the keeper of virtuous values of our colourful troops.
Visit Mieke at www.mieke.tv
Or if you are in the hood go to the shop and adopt!!
Located at Baudelostraat 23, 9000 Gent.

Lucky Lester

This is lucky Lester. Born in the year of the Dragon, not in the eye of the Tiger.
He is quite the slippery fellow with his tentacles in many a nori roll. To the untrained eye it would appear his talents lie on the whirring wheels of the sushi train, but the shadier folk know him as a sweet talker with a keen eye on the pearls, those oysters don't stand a chance, nothing clams up on him.
Suckers!


Lester, large brooch $45

Dino Air

One could say that Dino Air is a little antiquated. Although, gone are the days of having to mount a Pterodactyl which was messy. Very messy, more misses than hits with those unreliable winged beasts with teeth. However progressive these new mechanical birds of steel were at the turn of the century not much has evolved at Dino Air since the 1960's. The in-flight service leaves something to be desired. The all you can eat if you can catch it system only works for some and the constant reel to reel repeats of the feature movies 'Jurassic Park' 1, 2,3 and 4 can really bake your noodle. Lucky for the hot sassy stewardesses, no 'VPL' in those tight packages in fact no panties at all.

Dino Air. Large brooch $45

Dino Air. Large brooch $45

The Kevin

Kevin is a forward planner, agreeable in nature, but has the power to create quite the shitstorm. He is a generous fellow and likes to hand out random wads of cash. We say 'Nice one Kev', 'High Five'. Although this time, it appears we have been overlooked..... How did this happen Kev? Confucius say 'Your pouch is deep, you bound far and wide look after your mob'.

Kevin, small brooch, $30

Your Hindness

Elizabeth, not known for her delicate nature,was busted giving the paparazzi the royal ass. Mooning, as its commonly called, has become somewhat of a nightly adventure sport for this ladette and her ratbag friends. Whilst her parents accompany her siblings to civil sports such as Polo and Clay shooting events, Liz is off overindulging in fine liquors and feeding her clepto tendency's.
Poor Liz, will she ever live up the high Royal expectations?
At least she has kept herself tidy.


Your Hindness. Small brooch $30

Dino Noir

Don't let this idyllic tropical oasis setting fool anyone...Maude the underground dwelling tyrannosaurus raises her head at the glowing moon to show off her new porcelain veneers. Expensive, but natural looking. She is trying to encourage her companion Charlie to seek professional help regarding his swollen gums. Due to too much tobacco chewing he has developed a bad stink ass case of gingivitis. The forest can no longer afford to suffer and wilt from the horrifying stench emanating from his petite mouth. Charlie get help! Free us from these dark days.
Dino Noir (Large Brooch)$45

Watch out for Wombat aggression...

Wilson the teenage wombat is having an identity crisis. What is particularly upsetting for Wilson and his growing pains is the suggestion that he looks like a squirrel, a badger or even a hamster. So, now he's on a mission of self discovery as he has been in trouble for midnight tent raids on poor unsuspecting couples. His misguided youthful energy is now being put towards constructive (not destructive) uses. What he does know is that his mum has a pouch and its backwards. This makes him special.


'Wilson' Medium Brooch $35

Chop Suey

Ahhhhhhhhh, CHOP SUEY..... Watch out for this possessed axe called Suey, an experiment gone wrong from the magic kitchens of the Iron Chef(yellow) and Chairman Kaga. This mystical axe only rises on the red moon...or the blue moon.. or the pink moon or in fact .... any brightly coloured moon. Damn tart. Is Suey. She has an axe to grind. Muuuhaahaahaaaa.


Chop Suey (medium brooch $35)

Barry

Meet Barry or, Big Bad Bazza as otherwise known to friends. Bazza is a man on a mission, a hard living brickie by day and flamenco dancer by night. He has moves that would make Kevin Bacon blush. While Bazza enjoys wearing his yellow hard hat and overalls and drinking Solo from a wide mouthed can, he is definitely a refined renaissance man. Status is single but certainly looking for love in all the wrong places. (ladies beware he lives with his mother)

You are invited....

Wednesday the 11th of March 2009
6 - 9pm
Pent House Mouse at The Capitol
Corner of Chapel Street and Toorak Road, South Yarra.
Champagne on arrival ..........who could resist?
Come and soak up the event and creations!!!!

Penthouse Mouse

Princess C, Lady J and the upper crust will be joining Penthouse Mouse at 'The Capitol' 243 Toorak Road, South Yarra from the 7th- 22nd March.
See you there for shopping and beastly adoptions :)

Tri Me.....

Even though Tricky Triceratops has a penchant for large guns and prickly plants, she is a lover of cross stitch and macrame. Her favorite food is red jelly with sour snakes and prickly pear flavoured mojitos. She is a dedicated librarian with the potential to go postal..... Beware!!! She hates dog eared pages.


Tri Me... (large brooch $45)

What Happened??

Air Crash Investigations were on the scene quickly to determine the nature of exactly 'What Happened?' Luckily, two witnesses were on hand to provide much needed information. Apparently one was in the middle of roasting Hazelnuts when there was an almighty BANG, which subsequently caused the witness to jump, complete with frying pan in hand, managing to flick every last one of the hazelnuts onto the floor.Thereby completely ruining the desert for that evening.
It is currently unknown who was piloting the plane and there is a mysterious green smoke that will not clear.
Anyone with information please contact ACI.

Frankie Magazine

Check out the lovely Clarice in Frankie Magazine's 'win stuff' section. She's looking pretty hot!

Snouty

This is Snouty, and yes, he is a cranky pants. He doesn't like much, and only enjoys eating Spam with a spork. Steer clear of him on Mondays and Tuesdays as he feels this is too early in the week to be reasonable.

Heimlich

Meet Heimlich, he is a lovely stealthy fellow with a tail even Basil Brush would be envious of. He enjoys fresh running water and licking himself secretly in the closet whilst listening to George Michael. His favourite colour is wasabi pea green.