2 hours ago
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Put on your kaleidoscopic glasses of lurve, splash on the eau de cologne, Love Potion 182, blow your hair back and buckle up (or unbuckle) for the ride of your life at Jungle Lurve mating service club.
Down here at club Jungle you can expect to receive on entry, a party pack which includes: the manual "The do's,don'ts and only occasionally, if they said yes of Lurve'. This tell all book by the respectable Dr. Carmen Again, is very revealing and gets the heart pumping...throw that gym membership away for good. Also included is a keyring and a guarantee of a least three sizzling hot hot dates. A feelgood bookmark of affirmations, a pen and a heart for your sleeve. Now, repeat after me "I am a lurve beast".
Check out this talent...meet:
Name: Ling Ling
Sex: yes please
Occupation: dental nurse
A bit about me: I am a vegetarian who likes it spicy. I like long weekends spent in the wilderness listing to exotic bird calls, coocoo. I also quite like the smell of tape. It's a bit out there but i am a crazy kind of bamboo loving mammal.
Occupation: writer for well known travel company
A bit about me: I am a mature woman. Full of potential and love just awaiting that right someone to bulldoze with love. I need someone with substance, the water to my wade. Please, no pansy's need apply.
Occupation: Make up artist for the stars
A bit about me:I have a petite mouth but its not the size that counts its what you can do with it and trust me that one time... was amazing.
Call me, I'm not fussy.
All medium love brooches $35
Sunday, June 14, 2009
This is Nigel, he is a dentist and for privacy reasons we can not show you his face. Not only is Nigel a highly recommended dentist, he has peppermint fresh breath and nimble fingers. In his after hours private time Nigel enjoys dressing like a fighter pilot and gets his friends to call him Captain.
At work however, he is very professional and although his hygiene standards are high, his trusty assistant Ling Ling is for ever plucking stray black back hairs from inappropriate places...like filling mixtures, in between patients teeth, on the lid of the antiseptic bottles, in her sandwich and on the dental dams etc.
Ling Ling wonders whether she can approach her hirsute boss? Should she leave a suggestion in the suggestion box? Should she just drop subtle hints? Or should she flat out tell him she is going into the Meerkin weaving business and she is going to farm him???
Poor Ling Ling.
Nigel, medium brooch $35