Pony Club

Ed is all horse. In fact a Mongolian stallion living in Caulfield South. Show pony doesn't even begin to cover it....Ed has been known to lace his hay with muscle building powder that he purchases from the boot of shady Shaneel's car, at the rear of Woolies (after dark and on a full moon). Ed is all about performance enhancements, which to his detriment sometimes leads him up the garden path. A real bum steer. He still hasn't seen Clarice or Snouty since that fateful night with the shaman. The other pony's in the stables just don't appreciate the botox around his eyes or his man defining cleft chin. He is silky smooth, tight and shiny, just how he likes it.


Pony Club, medium brooch $35

Join 'Jungle Lurve' mating service club. Where all creatures get to dance....

Put on your kaleidoscopic glasses of lurve, splash on the eau de cologne, Love Potion 182, blow your hair back and buckle up (or unbuckle) for the ride of your life at Jungle Lurve mating service club.
Down here at club Jungle you can expect to receive on entry, a party pack which includes: the manual "The do's,don'ts and only occasionally, if they said yes of Lurve'. This tell all book by the respectable Dr. Carmen Again, is very revealing and gets the heart pumping...throw that gym membership away for good. Also included is a keyring and a guarantee of a least three sizzling hot hot dates. A feelgood bookmark of affirmations, a pen and a heart for your sleeve. Now, repeat after me "I am a lurve beast".

Check out this talent...meet:

Name: Ling Ling
Age: 28
Sex: yes please
Nationality: chinese
Occupation: dental nurse
A bit about me: I am a vegetarian who likes it spicy. I like long weekends spent in the wilderness listing to exotic bird calls, coocoo. I also quite like the smell of tape. It's a bit out there but i am a crazy kind of bamboo loving mammal.



Name: Harriet
Age: 43
Sex: Female
Nationality: African
Occupation: writer for well known travel company
A bit about me: I am a mature woman. Full of potential and love just awaiting that right someone to bulldoze with love. I need someone with substance, the water to my wade. Please, no pansy's need apply.


Name: Charlie
Age: 36
Sex: once
Nationality: Gondwanalandinian
Occupation: Make up artist for the stars
A bit about me:I have a petite mouth but its not the size that counts its what you can do with it and trust me that one time... was amazing.
Call me, I'm not fussy.


All medium love brooches $35

Nigel

This is Nigel, he is a dentist and for privacy reasons we can not show you his face. Not only is Nigel a highly recommended dentist, he has peppermint fresh breath and nimble fingers. In his after hours private time Nigel enjoys dressing like a fighter pilot and gets his friends to call him Captain.
At work however, he is very professional and although his hygiene standards are high, his trusty assistant Ling Ling is for ever plucking stray black back hairs from inappropriate places...like filling mixtures, in between patients teeth, on the lid of the antiseptic bottles, in her sandwich and on the dental dams etc.
Ling Ling wonders whether she can approach her hirsute boss? Should she leave a suggestion in the suggestion box? Should she just drop subtle hints? Or should she flat out tell him she is going into the Meerkin weaving business and she is going to farm him???
Poor Ling Ling.


Nigel, medium brooch $35

Now landing in Italy! John Doe

Princess C and Lady J are excited to inform you that the eagle had landed that the homing pigeons have zoned in and finally delivered our special package to the John Doe Store. Although it seems they have been to Barbados and back, Clarice and Kevin are tanned and ready for their European adventures.
John Doe usually stands for the unknown, but this super store is well and truly on the map...and we have one!
So go visit and send us a post card of you, Maude and Harriet at the piazza.

John Doe
San Domenico 18, Torino, Italy.

Woooooohoooooooooooooooo! :)
Ciao Italia grazie per aver noi! xx

Where's my horse?

Dude.... Where's my horse?
After a big night out chewing Peyote and Wizz Fizz, Clarice and Snouty look perplexed. Where is my horse and why are we naked and attached to a cactus? Hmmmm. On further investigation it appears their burnt feet are a product of getting freaky with the shaman and walking on the hot coal beds. Ed the horse nicked off quite early in the night when Snouty mistook him for Spam and went after him with his spork. Smart one that Ed.
If you have any information on Ed or exactly what happened that night, or if you were indeed actually there, please let us know in the comment section below.
Crimestoppers thanks you.
Your scheduled program will now resume.

Where's my horse? $45

Introducing.....

Princess C and Lady J are so excited to be introducing our beastly friends to foreign and far away shores.
Woooooooohoooooooooooooooooooo!
The lovely lovely Mieke of Belgium, has put her hand up to be the guardian, the keeper of virtuous values of our colourful troops.
Visit Mieke at www.mieke.tv
Or if you are in the hood go to the shop and adopt!!
Located at Baudelostraat 23, 9000 Gent.

Lucky Lester

This is lucky Lester. Born in the year of the Dragon, not in the eye of the Tiger.
He is quite the slippery fellow with his tentacles in many a nori roll. To the untrained eye it would appear his talents lie on the whirring wheels of the sushi train, but the shadier folk know him as a sweet talker with a keen eye on the pearls, those oysters don't stand a chance, nothing clams up on him.
Suckers!


Lester, large brooch $45